It feels like I haven’t posted in forever. So many changes so little time to document it lol.
I talked about my relationship ending. I finally am at peace with it. I honestly couldn’t be happier. I did attempt to date again but the more I though about it. I would just be single for awhile. Especially, if I did not have someone I was genuinely interested in getting t know more and vice versa. Plus, with the weight gain I was just to down about myself to really trust myself to pic someone properly and not out of a need for validation.
Then motherhood took me through there you hear me! Absolutely through there!!! And now I am homeschooling my child. I just believe this is best for them. Maybe we can try public school again if it seems they could handle it. I refuse to loose my child to this world. Gotta stay prayed up and not give up!
Now work! Baby I actually started to love working there. Thennnnnnn…we got a new manager and coworker. Chile they could’ve stayed where they was at. Both are problematic and childish. They both at least 20+ years older than me -_- and act like freaking toddles. As a business owner myself, I would be absolutely mortified to have them as employees.
Speaking of my business… Baby I am lost af! Idk what I want to even do anymore. I used to sell wig/hair then I started selling bath products. So when I finally formed my LLC I was gonna continue handmade products but then I became arrogant and baby God humbled me quick fast! I just was tired of feeling like people were looking down on me so I wanted to show them “they weren’t on my level”. How ridiculous of me -_-. God said humility is the way to go and although I have learned my lesson I am still afraid of failure. I know I need to have faith but I fear that my heart hasn’t changed enough or that maybe this isn’t God’s calling for me or something he is not willing to bless me with. I’m sure its just the enemy trying to keep me down and in doubt so I need to push past it and pray over it!
Then I also can’t even remember the last time I was in church. I was going faithfully because I loved being with God. Then when I started my job it took so much energy from me I didn’t make the effort to go after awhile. I know church is not what saves us. Its the acceptance of Jesus Christ but I still feel bad for falling away from going consistently. Then it makes me question if that’s why I been defaulting back to some of my old ways.
Then trying to go to school on top of all of that…Chiiiilllleeee this is getto lol Needless to say I stay overwhelmed dang near daily. Pray for me!
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