This past Sunday I felt God leading me to end my relationship. We had just made 3 months the day before too. I felt this weight on my chest to let it go the Sunday prior but I ignored it because I did not want to let the relationship go. This man was ready to marry me, but me in a house, and provide for me so I could be a SAHM and pursue my dreams/career. However, at that time, I couldn’t see it but I definitely made an idol out of my relationship. I also was being disobedient to God in that relationship so I should have known better than to cleave to a man I was being ungodly with.

The Sunday prior, I prayed for God to tell me if I was meant to stay or leave that relationship. The main reason was because once we stopped being sexually immoral, I started to look at him differently, basically with disgust. I couldn’t really understand it. God showed me that my flesh was in control. When I stopped letting my flesh it rule over me, I could see things more clearly and was able to start mending my relationship with God. But I still struggled with a lot of areas in my life that I didn’t particular struggled with or haven’t struggled with in a while.

God revealed to me that, although we we no longer being sexally immoral in our relationship, my boyfriend did not have a heart for God that would want to serve God in holy and righteous living. Our reverence for God differed greatly and we were not spiritually equally yoked. Yes, he checked off a lot of my boxes for what I wanted in a relationship but he was not the man I was praying for when it came to what I desired for my partner to have when it came to his relationship with God. I could see that once sex was off of the table, I could be honest with myself on how I really felt about it.

I kept trying to make excuses such as he could grow in his relationship with God if I am there to encourage him, or I just needed to give him time, or if I could get him to read his bible more then he’ll be transformed by the word and become the man I desired, etc… God had to humble me in so many ways because I was looking for things in this man that I was struggling to do myself. Yes, I have accept Christ Jesus as my Lord and Savior but I was not always living holy and righteously according to his Word to honor Him and bring glory to his name.

We live holy and righteous lives to honor God and bring him glory. Our works do not earn us salvation. Salvation is faith alone in Christ alone. There is nothing any of us can do to go to heaven other than accepting Christ as Savior. However, that does not mean we can or should continue a life of sin. I would suggest reading Colossian 3, Galatians 5, and Romans 12 if you believe or think otherwise.

Now because of these scriptures, I could easily tell my ex was not a man who followed God but I also knew I had fallen away so I felt like I had no right to “judge him”. But when I look and think back on it, that was also an excuses to continue things because I convinced myself that we were “in the same boat” when in reality we were not even in the same lake. I was a woman who was struggling to live above reproach while he was a man who did not even seen the point or meaning of holy living. It does not mean I am better than him but it does mean we were spiritually incompatible. That would have been a marriage/relationship that would have never worked.

Him being a “good person” does not mean that he one God has for you. Our relationship was so rushed and I didn’t take the time to really consider the plans and direction of God before jumping into that relationship. It is better to be single and focused on God than in a relationship that does not help your grow closer to God and causes you to fall further away.

After ending things, I felt so free and its like the air around me was fresher and my mind was starting to be clear again. That does not mean I do not struggle with being single again but I am happier now than I have been in the last 3-4 months. Mind you this is with a partner that treated me well. So just because they are good to you does not mean they are good for you.

Let it go of whatever it is God is calling you away from! Trust in God. God has been with me every step of the way. He knows that what He asks us to do can be hard or difficult to do but He does not leave us to do it alone. He always goes before us and lays everything out for us to be victorious not matter the trail or tribulation.

God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. The same God who was with me during my darkest times of yesterday, is still with me today and helping me be ready to face tomorrow where He will already be waiting for me if it is in His will for me to live to see it.

Thank you Heavenly Father in Jesus’ name for for humbling me and changing my life. For helping me die to my idols of relationships and marriage and giving me the strength to do what is hard. Thank you for always being by my side and never leaving me, even when I fell away. Thank you for bring me back to your narrow path. Thank you for loving me! In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.